Moms Home Safety E-zine, Issue #002 -- Why does your child not do chores?

Somehow, it seems to have been a very busy month. In addition to the Moms Home Safety website, I am researching material for another website for Moms (and Dads) who would prefer to work at home, but don't know what to do, or how to get started.. More about this a a much later stage.

At the same time, my grandson developed Hand foot and Mouth Disease, so naturally, I did some research and added the information to the Family Health pages. Just click on the appropriate links to read the information.

Another disease that I have been meaning to write about for some time is Reyes Syndrome. This is a life threatening problem and is directly related to viral illnesses and aspirin, so I do recommend you read up on it.

Whilst building informational websites such as this one is not particularly expensive, it can be difficult to continue if one does not have any income. I have therefore set up some pages of shopping links which will provide me with a small commission if any visitors to those pages should choose to make a purchase. If you, are like me and love Harry Potter, you will now be able to purchase the books and DVD's via these pages. I have also included links to a variety of child safety products.

By the way, there is a link to a really excellent product on dealing with anxiety, stress and /or panic attacks - it really works - you will find the link on the main shopping links page.

Every toddler should be taught to do chores as soon as he or she is old enough to walk, while at the same time being able to carry something. Of course, it requires an enormous amount of patience and LOTS of discipline (mom and dad are the ones that need to be disciplined).

I of course, was not very disciplined, and it never occurred to me to start my kids doing chores when they were only a little over a year old. As a result, when they grew somewhat older, we had a battle of wills when it came to putting toys away or helping around the house with things that they were perfectly capable of doing.

It also meant that by the time they were teenagers, as much as I loved them, they were untidy little horrors, and I only had myself to blame!

No doubt in your house, every time your little one accomplishes something (like that first step) every one applauds and tells the proud toddler how clever he or she is. Why should you not do the same thing when he puts a toy away?

Small children are great imitators.

That is how they learn. It is however, not only physical things that they learn. They also learn responsibility and they learn how to be disciplined. They learn that keeping the home clean and tidy can be fun, but only if their parents are prepared to teach them.

A fifteen month old is perfectly able of “wearing” a pair of cotton socks on each hand dampened with a mixture of water, vinegar and dishwashing liquid (absolutely no chemicals) and helping to clean those parts of the windows that he or she can reach, while Mom does the rest, preferable while dancing around and belting out her toddlers favorite song or nursery rhyme!

Of course, it can all get quite messy at times, but that is the fun of it, then your toddler needs to help wipe off the floor, so he or she learns (slowly) that it is quite possible to do one job without causing a huge mess and creating another.

Collecting small bits and pieces of garbage around the house and being guided to put the stuff in the garbage can, with lots of applause, is also within their capabilities. Of course, once they grasp the concept, everything in site goes in the bin, so moms needs to make sure that the household or car keys are not left where her about-to-be-super-tidy toddler can get at them.

Tidying away toys before supper time can also be made fun by playing a “find a toy for the box” game. You have to show him how several times, but he will soon get the hang of it, as he runs to beat you at grabbing a toy to throw it in the box with lots of encouragement and applause.

My seventeen month old grandson also loves to help collect dirty clothes to be placed in the washing basket and literally swells up with pride when told what a good boy he is. After a diaper change, he even collects the offending disposable (in a plastic bag) and puts that in the garbage bin as well. He also puts the laundry into the tumble dryer as his mom hands him the items from the washer

Your toddler, can help unpack groceries from the car – give him one small unbreakable item to carry into the house – and he can help pack certain items away with guidance and a little help. Of course you might have to lift both him and the item to be packed, so that he can access the right spot.

Yes, it can be time consuming and even exhausting, because it would be so much quicker to do it by yourself, but that look of pride, and that beaming smile on a grubby face after he has “helped” water the potted plants outside the front door, are truly the greatest of rewards for a tired mom or dad.

Of course, the biggest no-no is to shout at your little one in frustration when he causes a mess in his earnest desire to both imitate and help the people he truly loves most in the world. As irritated as you may be, he quite often knows that he hasn’t got it completely right. And you will see it in that small, sad, and perhaps confused smile as he looks to you for encouragement that he is not sure that he is going to get.

When your toddler gets it wrong, kneel down beside him, give him a big cuddle, (after all a fifteen or sixteen month old toddler doesn’t communicate that well), and then carefully help and show him how to fix the mess and his self esteem will be restored in no time.

Do make sure, that if your toddler has older siblings, you don’t allow them to criticize the efforts of your tiny helper.

There are many, many little things your little one is capable of doing, including carrying his plastic dishes to or from the dining room table, “folding” the tea towels while you fold the rest of the washing, wipe spilled water off the floor with a paper towel.

Remember doing chores, teaches your child about responsibility, commitment and pride in a job well done. It teaches respect for oneself and for others, as well as their belongings. They learn to understand what teamwork is, after all, everybody has to do their share of the chores, and they begin to understand the concept of sharing.

The responsibility of helping your child to grow into a mature and caring adult, starts with you, the parent, being disciplined enough to guide and teach your child how to act responsibly through providing age appropriate chores, helping him to do the actual chores in a fun and lighthearted manner and of course never showing resentment at your own chores or your toddlers imperfect efforts, because your toddler WILL imitate you.

Last month I wrote about some of the things that occurred during the first 16 months of Keane's life, along with the news that he was about to move into his very own room and sleep on his first “real” bed.

His mom started by moving all his toys and furniture into the newly decorated room (mainly because of the new baby due in September). He thought the mattress on the floor was a great place to nap and play during that first weekend and was quite happy to play in his room during the afternoons after returning home from Day Care.

Step two involved moving the bed, that belonged with the mattress, into the room and adding Keane’s sleeping bag, along with a couple of nice thick comforters, folded in half and placed immediately below and slightly under the bed.

Nap-time during the Saturday afternoon, involved Keane falling out of bed only once, but it didn’t seem to bother him. The Sunday evening was the true test. Since Keane’s dad works night shift all week, but because he has Sunday’s off, he gets Sunday night pajama parade.

About an hour after Keane was put down, he fell out of bed for the first time that evening, let out a wail, and was returned to bed by dear dad. Several hours went past before Keane started crying – really loudly!

His father stumbled sleepily into the dimly lit room, to be confronted by a voice, but no body. Panicking (just a little) he yelled for his wife!

It turned out that Keane, after falling out of bed, had not woken up, but in his sleep, had wriggled around until he eventually landed up in the far corner underneath the bed. When he did wake up, he couldn’t find his way out (and very probably bumped his head at the same time).

Meanwhile, he is growing up in leaps and bounds. Hardly a day goes past when he doesn’t come up with a new word or action.

Keane has become very used to the fact that certain doors must remain closed, and that keys are removed from locks and placed out of his reach. Now, when he gets home from Day Care, heaven help all of us if things are not as they should be.

He immediately runs to the door or cupboard, finger pointed accusingly, yelling “tu, tu!” (The Afrikaans pronunciation of the word “close” and which is spelled t-o-e). Anything that is open must be closed, including open containers that are being used in preparation for the evening meal.

At 17 months, Keane has become very good at doing his share of the chores, in that he puts his own bowl and spoon into the kitchen sink – actually, being rather small, he throws them up and over, so we all have to make sure that nothing breakable is left there.

He also adores being given things to throw away in the garbage bin. If something is accidentally left where he can get at it, the offending item also gets put into the garbage bin. With encouragement and help, he now puts his toys away before bath and bedtime as well.

On the health front, he has broken all four eye-teeth within a little over a month, along with a couple of molars (what pain and trauma he suffered!). Then of course, just to be different, he contracted Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease – No! This is not the same Foot and Mouth Disease that animals get. So once again he went into quarantine, and enjoyed himself thoroughly, because his Dad had some time off, and could be with him.

Next month will probably be all about getting Keane used to the idea of a “baba in mommy’s tummy”. He has already noticed the size of her belly and insists on pulling up her sweater and poking his finger into mom’s belly-button, much to her amusement.

I have just given birth to my first child, but I am getting so much advice from so many people that I am going crazy – How do I cope?

My advice on this issue hasn’t changed in thirty years, and it is the only piece of advice that I gave my own daughter (except of course when she asks for specific information about something)

Smile sweetly, agree that it (whatever the advice is) sounds like a wonderful idea and then ignore it totally! Most of the time a mother, no matter how inexperienced she may be, really does know what is best for her child.

Actually, it is a good idea to listen to all the advice, even make notes if something makes sense to you, but in the end listen to your own instincts first.

Thirty years ago, I would have suggested that this is a good idea. Today, I am inclined to recommend against it, unless it is for religious reasons.

There is really no solid evidence that this practice of physical mutilation is good for a child, or more hygienic. It is painful; there can be complications such as excessive bleeding, which is life-threatening in a baby; and of course, deformities can occur if the foreskin is cut incorrectly, or the glans (head of the penis) is in any way damaged.

On the other hand, there are many, many excellent medical and non-medical reasons for not going through with this procedure.

A little snippet of information that I read a year or so ago - Circumcision for non-religious reasons was originally started during the Victorian Era to punish young boys for masturbating.

This, to my mind, is a rather unpleasant practice. A baby or toddler is left to cry and scream itself into exhausted sleep, night after night, until he or she just doesn’t bother to cry any more (the child now “knows” that he or she will be ignored), whilst the parents blissfully believe that their infant is now sleeping through.

Personally I believe that this practice must surely lead to psychological problems, related to rejection, later in life.

Your child deserves to be made to feel secure and loved at all times, even during those exhausting nights when he or she wakes up several times a night for no apparent reason

PS: My eldest son did not sleep through until he was five years old. My daughter was born when he was three, and his younger brother was born when he was five; as a result, I only averaged about four hours sleep a night for a total of seven years. It didn’t cause me any harm, but it did provide my children with lasting security (I worked full-time as well).

It is actually the wax and not the wood that has been damaged, so don’t panic. Spread a layer of mayonnaise over the mark, and then cover with a paper towel, check every half hour or so until the mark has gone.

Mix 2 liters (about 4 pints) of water with 30 to 50mls (2 to 3 tablespoons) of baking soda boil and then leave the pot to stand until the crust starts loosening.

Sprinkle used tea leaves around them, water well, and move them to a spot that gets more light, their color will soon start improving. Coffee grounds also make a good pot plant fertilizer.

Sprinkle powdered brewers yeast onto your pets food, fleas hate it and it is safe for both dogs and cats.

Mix 250mls (1 cup) of olive oil with 125mls (half a cup) of lemon juice – great for hardwood furniture – shake, spray and rub!

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Sandy
Moms Home Safety.
Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours ~ Les Brown